No Good Deed
by thisasecret

"Ready?" she asked nervously.
"I've never done this before and I just HATE wiping diarrhea off my ass.
so much of seems to get left behind! And the toilet paper is so rough.

" she smiled at Bernie as she slid her panties to her ankles.
"Dont worry, my tongue is silky smooth" reassured Bernie.

Bernie lay on the ground with his head in the toilet. He was forced to balance his head so it wouldn't get wet.

"Thanks for doing this" murmured Sarah, demurely placing her bum on his face. Then she settled back, unwittingly squashing Bernie's face between her cheeks. Bernie helplessly shoved his face into her ass, trying to keep his hair dry. "You're such a gentleman to help me like this" cooed Sarah. "I'm comforted knowing that you're here."

Sarah imagined Bernie's hero heart burning with pride and sneered. Sarah wasn't evil -- she just enjoyed ruining men. Her innocent smile made it so easy. Bernie thought she was an angel sitting on the altar that was his face. Sarah smiled as she felt his cautious movements -- as is HE would hurt HER. Gullible fools made the best toilet paper.

Bernie was feverishly happy. Sitting on his face was a creature so pure that he felt dirty. I won't let her down, Bernie thought as a slow smile started spreading on Sarah's lips. Sarah's heinie devoured him, cocooning his face as she prepared to use him in the filthiest way possible.

Sarah liked taking it slow with her victims. Letting them think she was a lost babe for as long as possible. "I think I'm going to fart, Bernie," she whispered, then shifted slightly and broke wind. "Its not too smelly, is it?"

Momentarily stunned by having another person fart in his face, "No Sarah," he managed. The fart was hot and it lingered, a pungent smell trapped inside Sarah's cheeks with his nose. "Sorry Bernie," he heard her say. "I hope I don't do that too often." She fidgeted, seeking a comfortable spot until her sphincter closed around the tip of his nose. Bernie felt like a laid egg beneath a mother hen, under wraps.

Sarah's asshole purred, expelling more gas. "Excuse me, Bernie." Bernie's air was tainted with a cabbage-y smell that he had to breathe in. Just as he started getting some fresh air again, Sarah's cute butt blew another polite puff into his face. Sarah sat on his face, savoring this foreplay. She was enjoying herself. Bernie, however, was not.

Bernie kept his nose bravely wedged into Sarah's crack as she emitted anal gas. Each polite toot wrecked his senses. It was like having a skunk's asshole right on your nose as it doused you. Then it said "excuse me" and did it again. The worst part is, Bernie thought, she has no idea how bad her farts are. And I can't let her find out either.

"How's the smell down there?" Sarah asked anxiously, getting up. "Is it bad?"
"No..noo!" stammered Bernie. "It's...*gag*...fine."
"Are you sure?" she pleaded. "The smell is just going to get worse."
"It's fine," said Bernie, adding "I like it."
"You do?" Her eyes were as big as dinner plates.
"Of course! Your farts smell like strawberries."
Sarah fingered her asshole and took a tentative sniff. "Yuck!" her nose wrinkled in disgust. "That smells like poo to me! But I guess that's why being fart sniffer is YOUR job."

Her asshole blew a raspberry at Bernie mid-descent and Sarah pressed it into his face as her full weight rested on him again. "I'm SO relieved you like this smell, Bernie." She smeared another fart onto his face. "Did that one smell like strawberries too?" She wiped her crack with his smushed face, spraying it again. "How about this one?" Then she settled back, checking the messages on her phone, frequently shifting a hip or pushing back a thigh as she ripped more wind into Bernie's abused face. An especially loud fart trumpeted out and she looked up from her phone. "It smells pretty bad up here. It must be horrendous where you are, Bernie!"

It was agony for Bernie. Farts smell truly disgusting when you have to inhale them from their point of origin. Each fart hung in the air, each sulphuric emission quietly subjugating him till he was silently begging for relief. The heat from the gas was making him sweat. His face was slimy with her sap, and she kept adding layer upon layer as she distractedly polished his face with her bum while checking Facebook. His face was being turned to mush by her ample ass -- it felt like the cheeks were corkscrewing back and forth with each fart, smushing his nose, first this way then that way.

Sarah got off his face, her ass peeling off with a nasty suctioning sound. Bernie did his impression of a fish out of water. His eyes were sealed shut, his face like a rumpled shirt. His features were covered in brown goo, like he was at the spa. "You're a hero, Bernie," Sarah said, looking at him with concern. "You really like my farts, don't you?" "Ye...yes, Sarah." She kissed him. "You're a good man, Bernie." Bernie's heart grew three times bigger. "I like kissing you," he whispered. Sarah spun around and offered up her backside. "Then kiss me, Bernie."

Sarah's smile grew wide as she felt the man dutifully kiss her. He would do anything for her right then. She gracefully lowered herself down, sitting on the toilet seat with a man's face caught between her cheeks. "Seal your lips onto my asshole, Bernie," she said. Sarah felt his muscles tense as he realized what was going to happen. She felt him place his lips on her sphincter, ready to accept her gift, recycle her waste, swallowing every coil of steaming sewage she deigned to drop into his mouth.

Bernie felt her soft cheeks pressing on his face with an angelic innocence that he knew would soon be betrayed by a spray of steamy diarrhea. Her ass sealed his eyes shut but he imagined her quavering above, embarrassed by her body and her need, but above all else thankful to this brave man who was going to help her.

Sarah squeezed her cheeks together and then farted as she sat on the toilet seat as she had so many times before, the exception being that this time Bernie was caught between her legs and inhaling that dirty scent right out of her ass. Bernie felt her unclench as an appetizer blew out of her rear end with a PFFFT. It smelled MUCH shittier. Uh oh, thought Bernie. Then he felt a horrible slickness on his lips, a texture like a granola bar with nuts, and then an ungodly taste as his tongue found the start of the coil of shit. His mind connected with the full knowledge of what he was tasting, a repulsive taste that no man should ever taste, and it took all his willpower not to throw up right then. He merely gagged as more of the shit oozed into his mouth, smushing itself against his cheeks, teeth, tongue. The stench was unholy, a double barrel shotgun of rotten shit jammed into his face. But that was nothing compared to the dung that Sarah was filling his mouth with.

He still hadn't swallowed any shit, but he felt the tip of the second coil on his lips so he gulped, thinking I am a toilet. I have swallowed another person's shit. And there's more to come.

Overhead, Sarah was fighting to keep back the cruel chortles that were ringing in her ears as she felt the man below her ACTUALLY EAT THE DIGUSTING GOO that was flowing out of her rear entrance. She arched her back, pushing her bottom into Bernie's face like an aggressive waitress at a cocktail party offering an exotic hors-d'oeuvre. Another disgusting turd slithered out of her asshole and she felt the man below her obediently eat it up, a sad but obedient puppy just wanting to please an abusive owner. She felt her tummy rumble and said "uh oh. Better open really wide for this one." Then a wet sludge erupted, her asshole spouting shit, piping hot diarrhea fed straight to her toilet. The smell was unbearable even from up there, and as she thought about what she was doing to this poor man, Sarah couldn't control it anymore. She began squealing with laughter. "How's the smell down there Bernie? Does it still smell like strawberries? Tell me...does it taste like a strawberry milkshake too?"

She got off and sneered at him. "You think you're so brave, helping a poor girl like me? Do you think you're going to get into my pants? This is what you're good for Bernie -- being my toilet. Eat up!"

She pasted herself back onto his face and farted rudely before unloading another tide of sewage into his helpless mouth.

"You know you're going to have to lick this shit off my ass, right? and that could take hours...plenty of time for you to smell more of my pungent gas!"

Bernie could do nothing except swallow more of liquid shit. He knew now that he had been used and abused by this evil woman, but he could nothing except gulp down the soft-serve poo that she produced.

Finally, Sarah got up smiling and Bernie cleaned himself.
She smiled even more broadly as she presented her ass to him, ready to be cleaned. Bernie stared dejectedly at as she said "come on Bernie." He pressed his face into her crack and she rewarded him with a fart, chuckling as he groaned. Her asshole was a flower that blossomed into anal gas, and Bernie knew he would be tending this hot bed for a while.

Sarah felt his tongue flicking up and down her crack, scratching her itch, scouring her filthy cheeks and then probing her hole.
"mmm, your tongue IS soft" she smiled. "Losers make the best toilet paper."
"Kiss me" Bernie kissed her ass submissively, and she smiled as she thought "just like a dog."
She pulled on her panties up to her now-gleaming backside and walked out, leaving another ruined man in her wake.